Clearly, I need to be cleared to substitute. STAT.

Back in the fall of 2000-something, I visited Anna and her roommates in their darling little home in Washington, DC. While there I got the crazy notion that it would be a good idea to use one of those L'Oreal Couleur Experte kits to give myself a rich chocolate brown color speckled with golden highlights.

I ended up with orange stripes and Anna and I made a last minute trip to the drugstore for a box of Nice 'n Easy to restore my distressed tresses.

So last night, as I stood in the aisle of Walgreens holding this:

you would think that I would remember that charming little incident. But nooooo, I purchased the kit and headed home to make my hair a light golden copper brown.

Pre coloring excitement (just keepin' it real)

Now truly, the all-over color always comes out gorgeous. If I only I would learn to stop there...

Post highlighting results? Yup, orange stripes.

Annnnnnd in the garish light of the morning...

Once again, I made the emergency trip to CVS for the now familiar box of basic hair color. Thankfully, it brought me back to this:

Actually, my hair is now a shade of reddish brown that I would have liked to begin with. Yup, that's me, taking the long way. Every dang time.

I'm sure I'm not alone in this home hair coloring nightmare. C'mon ladies, fess up. Trust me, there's freedom in the sharing.