"Photog Adnan Galib captures coveted and rare photo of Tom Cruise (Xenu name: Puppet Master) working the marionette strings during Will Smith's Scientologist of the Quarter acceptance speech."
Congrats
Allison! The use of a pop culture phenom not even in the picture was most impressive. Your prize is on its way...or I'll just give it to you the next time I see you. Thanks for all the entries, all very funny! It was very hard to choose. I think we can all agree that Tom Cruise done lost his mind. And stole Katie Holmes' along the way. And speaking of crazy...did anyone else see
Gary Busey scaring the crap out of Jennifer Garner on the Oscar red carpet? If so, you'll get a kick out of his explanation:
"Well, what I wanted to do was when I first saw you (Ryan) working, I said, "Who is this guy?" And I said, "Oh God, this isn't going to work." And then you captured me. You are to me, when you're working, an innocent champion of honesty. Your heart has a way to embrace the truth in your delivery without looking like you are reading a script. Everything looks spontaneous. What spontaneity is—spontaneity comes from an invisible idea that is there before the creation began. And you have that naturally, so I just wanted to pay you a compliment. But I didn't know you were in the middle of an interview, I was just moving through there."
Um. Craaaaaaazyyyyyyy.
In a year when a lot of people showed up in red, I half-expected Katherine Heigl to whip out a shiv and shank the hell out of Anne Hathaway for arriving earlier in a jazzier, more romantic version of her tomato gown. Not that it's Hathaway's fault; I just feel like if a girl is so annoying as to complain about her husband and married life every time you shove a microphone into her face, then she's the type of pill who will sneak up behind Anne at the post-party and husk, "You know what the devil wears? HOSPITAL SCRUBS, b*&%h. Sleep with one eye open."
Just for the record I like Anne's better. And you?
Also, I realize that you are probably overloaded on celeb info and wondering when I'm going to get back to writing about my life. People, it just ain't that interesting right now. I'm hoping that something more exciting and worth writing about will happen in the next week or so. I'll keep you posted...
In a year when a lot of people showed up in red, I half-expected Katherine Heigl to whip out a shiv and shank the hell out of Anne Hathaway for arriving earlier in a jazzier, more romantic version of her tomato gown. Not that it's Hathaway's fault; I just feel like if a girl is so annoying as to complain about her husband and married life every time you shove a microphone into her face, then she's the type of pill who will sneak up behind Anne at the post-party and husk, "You know what the devil wears? HOSPITAL SCRUBS, b*&%h. Sleep with one eye open."
First of all, I'm BFF with Gary Busey (or G.B. as I like to call him), as you might know from my 7 random things post. Loved the video link.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I'm bitter that I didn't win. That photog line won her the title, I'll admit it.
Thirdly, WHAT?? I liked Katherine Heigl's dress much better. But I liked Ann's head better. Perhaps we can photoshop the two together?
Fourthly, don't worry about letting us down, as the red carpet fashion is waaaaaaaay more interesting than your life. Celebrity-post away, my friend.
P.S. Did you get my link to be Arnold's friend on Facebook? I think Knox needs a dogbook page ASAP.
P.P.S. Are we good enough friends to use blatant sarcasm yet? Because if NOT, then I stand corrected and subsequently retract my fourth statement and request that you resume self-(including dog and husband)-posting IMMEDIATELY.
Loving the celebrity posting! I had no idea about what 'happened' on the red carpet with Jennifer and Ryan and Laura...now I know! And it makes my day!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to thank the Academy for this great honor... HA - seriously...I was convinced that the "E-Meter" quote was the CLINCHER...Entirely too funny! Perhaps my prize should be you coming to drag my a$$ back out of bed in the a.m. to go work out. Or you can cover my Twizzler habit next time we're at the show :-)
ReplyDeleteboom,
ReplyDeleteDogbook: check. And under threat of alienation from my sister if I do, I think I'll set up one for Knox anyway :) And oh yes, we're at the point of blatant sarcasm. I think it can only make our friendship stronger.
Mr.,
Wow. Honored that you're here. Thanks for reading and wasn't that moment hilarious?
Allison,
I'll get your a$$ to class for free. No caption winning necessary. Now, the twizzlers...we'll talk :) "The Other Boelyn Girl," here we come!
While I adore red, I think both dresses are a little frumpy and frowzy.
ReplyDeleteThings I loved about the Oscars: Daniel Day-Lewis, "Once" winning best song, Tilda Swinton's amazing red hair.
Things I did not like about the Oscars: Rebecca Miller's weird dress with giant armored breastplate/brooch, everybody slipping on the durn stage (it made me so nervous I started jumping up to try and catch them), and Tilda Swinton's embarrassing acceptance speech (did she really say buttocks in public?)
NO DOG PAGES!!!
ReplyDelete