Thursday, March 04, 2010

My trainer doesn’t need to read this.

I had no real intention of taking a hiatus from the blog. It felt like I was on a roll. I’d blogged four days in a row, the writing juices were flowing and then BAM!- the pace of life in general went from nice, steady, normal to full, intense, non-stop.

My days are get up, get ready {which typically involves a purse, lunch bag, workout bag and school bag- yes, I am officially a bag lady}, teach, grade, nurture, plan, listen, discipline, leave school, run {anywhere from three to six miles these days}, head home, smooch my husband, give the monster some attention, eat, watch a few shows, repack/prep all my bags, go to bed and then get up and do it all over again the next day.

I realize I’m not going to get a lot of sympathy from the moms out there and that’s fine. But for me, it’s a much faster, fuller pace than I’m used to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy and I’m not complaining! Life in general is actually really good right now. I’m enjoying my marriage more than I ever have, I’m loving the running I’m doing and the intense pace at school helps keep my mind off the other frustrations that can derail me there.

But today? I’m wiped.

We have Grandparents Day tomorrow at school. Days like this are a lot of fun but they also require a lot of work. Projects, cleaning, prepping the kids to host their grandparents, music rehearsals {with RECORDERS AND KAZOOS, oh my ears}…it’s a lot of worthy effort on everyone’s part that goes into a memorable day.

It just so happened that today in the midst of all the work there was an innocent comment and an innocent question that triggered emotional landmines for me. Good times, right? I won’t make you listen to all the details here because, hello, that’s why I pay my therapist good money. I will tell you that by 5:30, I was done. The tears were starting and I wanted out.

There was a 4.5 mile run on my training schedule and a workout bag right by my desk. Running makes me feel better and I know this. Wasn’t gonna happen. I left school, I left the bag right where it was and I made a beeline for Sonic and a #1 combo. I don’t even care if it’s “old” patterns, I just wanted comfort food, our bed and “Devil Wears Prada” in the DVD player.

Couldn’t find “Devil Wears Prada” but it turns out multiple episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy” work just as well.

Also turns out that an understanding husband who lets you cry it out works too.

Hallelujah, amen and tomorrow’s another day.

4 comments:

  1. Kazoos? Good gravy! I'm sending a hug your way...it sounds like things are go, go, go and that is really wearing. And, for the record, being a mom is hard, but I actually thought to myself just yesterday, "Whew! This is so much less stressful than teaching!" Not that it's not stressful, but there's not that sense of "things undone" or "more things to do" - no more looming thundercloud of dread that I used to get while teaching. You're doing heroic work, you are!

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  2. Sometimes you just gotta do what you just gotta do and that is okay! ;-)

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  3. This post reminds me of why we are true kindred spirits. Tomorrow is a new day, my friend, with no mistakes in it. Love you! :)

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  4. Yes, a #1 combo and a girlie movie will solve many of life's ills won't they? I hope you're better. Maybe I'll start running for real this time- my blog juices are stagnant.

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