Tuesday, November 22, 2005

How to start my day

Get out of bed forty minutes later than you planned because you're just so dang warm and snuggly in your flannel pj's and underneath the three layers of covers. Then, put in the contact lens that has been sitting in UN-NEUTRALIZED contact solution all night. Jump up and down in agony as you try to remove the contact that is now burning itself into your eye. Let out silent yelps of pain so that you don't wake the sleeping roomie who has been hitting her snooze bar for the last hour. You can't blame her though, you hit yours for the aforementioned forty minutes.

Realize that you now have to wear your coke-bottle-thick glasses to school and immediately feel like you are that seventh grade geek all over again. You won't be able to see diddly squat and your students will make comments all day such as, "Miss Unger, you look weird" or "Miss Unger, you look really tired with your glasses on." You try to put on a cute outfit to offset the glasses, but NOTHING CAN OFFSET COKE-BOTTLE-THICK GLASSES.

Head out the door to take your car to the shop before school because the "check engine" light came on last week. Meet up with your friend and co-teacher so she can follow you to the shop and give you a ride to school. Make a complete stop at the stop sign and feel the unexpected thud as SHE DOES NOT and instead rear ends your already suffering car. Determine that both cars have bumpers made of steel and move on with your day.

Get to school, watch a Thanksgiving assembly complete with second graders singing "Colors of the Wind" from the classic Disney flick Pocahontas. Be grateful for about 20 minutes until you get back to your classroom and listen to a message that tells you it's going to take $250 and your firstborn child to fix the stupid car. The following conversation with your class ensues:

"Kids, let me just say, being a grown-up is NOT all it's cracked up to be."

"But you get to stay up late, right?"

"Well...yes."

"And you get to drive a car?"

"Yes, but when it breaks down you have to pay a lot of money to fix it."

"Oh, well, just have your parents pay for it."

"That's the thing, when you're a grown-up your parents don't pay for things anymore."

Laughter. Lots and lots of laughter from insensitive children who have NO IDEA what the world holds for them.

5 comments:

  1. oh dear...bad days do make for a good laugh though. you had me laughing...not at you, mind...but just enjoying your sharp wit. so sorry about the car! I will call you this evening, I owe you a phone call. luv, aea

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  2. "Friend"/colleague who shall remain nameless from embarassment...4:38 PM

    Yes, the car event was a bit traumatic! Imagine being that friend who thinks she's performing her typical "rolling stop" while looking for lip gloss - and then, BAM! She hits one of her dearest friends ... Lesson learned: 1. no more multitasking in the car, and 2. if must multitask, do NOT hit friend's car in the process.

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  3. Sarah Jo5:24 PM

    I am that roommate who can't seem to drag herself out of bed, and hits the snooze button for an hour. Lu, you didn't tell me about the bump-up. I REALLY should have treated you to dinner last night. Calling my dad to see if he could perform the repairs wasn't enough. I am pi-ti-ful. ox

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  4. Uncle Lewis10:34 PM

    Go ahead ask dad for the money!!

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  5. My coworkers children go to your school, and the word on the street is that you're every elementary school kid's dream. My coworker (who I don't think knows you, she's just heard of you) started gushing when I mentioned I knew you. "Oh, she's SOOO cool! All the kids want her as a teacher!..." and on and on and on.

    And so, even with glasses that look like the bottom of coke bottles (and I seriously doubt it's THAT bad), the kids probably all think you're just doing it to be cool.

    ReplyDelete

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