Monday, January 09, 2006

Why Mom will promptly compose a list of things I can't tell the Internet

You know you're a grown-up when one of your Christmas presents is a Braun Oral-B 3D electric toothbrush. Yes, grown-up indeed. But there was also my signature perfume and a "puppy love survival kit" from my sister, Allie. Hallelujah and praise the lord, she has finally returned home from the Air Force! We spent the Christmas weekend torturing Mom by reverting back to thirteen and ten years old. A sample conversation whilst driving to the Christmas Eve service at our aunt and uncle's church...

Leslie (driving): So Allie, what did you think of how [insert awkward family situation here that can't be shared with the Internet]?

Allie (in the back seat): Well, I have several different theories on the subject. Most of them involve several different mathematical equations...

L: OK, does anyone know where this place is? Because I don't, so somebody needs to be giving me directions.

A: If you take the hypotanuse of a right triangle...

Mom (up front): Leslie, would you please slow down?!

L: Mom, the speed limit is 35, I'm barely going 40. I'm fine!

M: Well, I don't know where this place is so unless you want to end up turning around, I suggest you stop speeding!

A:...and then take the square root of 169...

L: Seriously, do y'all know where this church is? Mom, you live here!

M: Oh, there's a sign for it. And one there too. Turn left.

A:...and then multiply it all by the speed of light...

M: Now girls, I feel the need to say something to you about your behavior tonight. Because apparently, you are going to act like ten year olds.

A: Does that mean I don't have to listen to you like when I was ten?

M: Don't be such a smarta**.

Yup, we learned all the good curse words from her. We're so proud. Why is it that whether you're ten and thirteen, or twenty-four and twenty-eight, if you're getting along with your sibling, you still get yelled at? Here's to many more moments of making Marmee give the sigh of exasparation and delight at having her girls in the same state again.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhh, I laughed all over again as I read this. I love you and mom. Ya'll really do put the "fun" back in dysfunction!


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