Thursday, January 31, 2008

No, Seriously.

A skunk sprayed our entire office building.

I thought about working up to that, letting it be the punchline of this post. But then I decided, no, much more fun that I just let you savor that right up front. Kind of like how I'm savoring the smell of skunk permeating my clothes right now.

Living out here in TX, I have (unfortunately) become much more familiar with the smell of skunk. Apparently there's just more here than in NC. Or maybe not, maybe there's just more woods for them to hide in in NC. Here, they run across the plains and get hit by cars. And then they release that odorous spray. It is not uncommon on a drive from Abilene to Lubbock to drive through a patch of dead skunk. That smell sure can linger...

So I knew almost immediately as I came through the back door that a skunk had been nearby. Maybe rambling through the bushes last night, left a little stink. But then as the smell continued further inside, I thought that surely it couldn't be a skunk. We've been having problems with our heating system so I thought it could be a chemical smell from something they fixed. But as I walked from the back, past X-ray, past billing and into our Learning Center which is closed off from the rest of the Cancer Center, it just got stronger.

My officemate, Melisa, and I discussed the odor. Smells like skunk, yes. But surely not?...Strong coffee, chemicals from the heating system, cleaning supplies...

Nope. Skunk. Our office manager confirmed it.

If I make it through the day without puking, it will be a major accomplishment.

And I may have to burn my outfit when I get home. Or bathe in tomato juice. Faaaaaaaabulous.

UPDATE: Oh, this just gets better and better. We just found out from our security officer that early this morning, the skunk was actually trapped between the two sets of sliding doors that lead into our building. It sprayed at least three times, maybe more. When they tried to get it out, it ran right at our security officer. Animal Control had to sedate it in order to get it out. (Looney tunes, Pepe Le Peu and tranquilizer darts are now flashing through my head.) They said that due to the fact it ran right at our security officer, it was probably rabid.

So, bottom line: A RABID SKUNK SPRAYED OUR BUILDING.

Folks, I swear, you can not make this kind of stuff up.

7 comments:

  1. Wow. That's just....wow. I don't even know what to say. A rabid skunk. I bet that's not in the Occupational Health and Safety books. Maybe he was trying to quit smoking? I feel rabid and I want to spray people with foul-smelling things when I try to quit smoking. He probably thought the security guard had an extra smoke on him.

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  2. Welcome to West Texas!! When I was at Perini's we had a skunk die under our "office" (old camp house with wood floors and dirt converted to "office") and the smell is TERRIBLE. It's not like the smell you get driving down I20..it is a burning smell. It stings your eyes and your nose and yes, my dear - BURN YOUR CLOTHES! I am so sorry! It is funny...but I am going to lean more towards MISERABLE!

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  3. That was incredible. It surpassed squirrel fetus any day of the week because you got to use the word..RABID. Unbelievable. I hate skunk smell...it is so awful..Pennsylvania is loaded with them too...and I grew up gagging and wretching driving to school each morning. ahhhhh, memories. Sounds like you are doomed tomorrow, too. Take in a can of Febreze. love you.

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  4. Great. Now we have to change all workplace safety memos in the greater Texas region to include a blurb on rabid skunk infiltration.

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  5. Nasty! But stinking hilarious!

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  6. Anonymous12:00 AM

    Trees that grow only on the horizon.. so sad. Rabid skunks so numerous they show up at the office.. audacious.
    Living in North Carolina.. priceless!

    Miss you, Marmee

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