Vast Amounts

Time. Space. Land.

I have vast amounts of all of these at the moment.

Temporarily unemployed once again, I have vast amounts of time on my hands. This is a blessing and a curse. I love free time, I just don't always use it in the wisest ways. I'm trying to assert some self-discipline for once. I'd like to use the free time to clean, to write, to read, to pray, to play with the dogs, to teach the puppy some obedience, to enjoy what's around me. That last one? I don't do that enough.

And yet, I have too much time on my hands. I keenly feel the burden of this. I'm not being paid for this time. That is the curse. Once again, I am not contributing to the financial state of the Petrees. Nope, I'm sucking it dry. Boy, do I ever feel the weight of this. I do have some part-time stuff lined up for the summer, but it's not enough. So I'm trying to make the most of my time and contribute to us in other tangible ways.

This new house has afforded us so much space. Lots of space to put everything in it's place. And after visiting Audrey's place in NC, I returned home with a newfound desire to simplify. Exhibit A of putting this desire into action was not covering the front of our fridge in various magnets, pictures, invites, odds and ends. I stood in the kitchen and realized that I liked the vast amount of blank, clean space that looked back at me. So that's the new goal: make our home comfy, make it us and leave lots of space.

Along with space in the house, we have lots of land. Eight acres to be exact. Once upon a time, wide, open spaces made me nervous. They made me feel exposed and as if there was no protection around me. I had to get over this pretty daggum quick once I married a Texan and moved out here. Now, I heart wide, open spaces like never before. In fact, during my trip back to NC, I found myself feeling seriously claustrophobic because of all the trees. I spent a week in Durham/Chapel Hill wondering, "Have the trees gotten bigger and closer to the road? Why do I feel like the trees are hunting me down? Um, trees? Can I get some space?"

But as Allie and I drove around Abilene last week, I fell in love with wide, open spaces all over again. They speak of freedom and boundless possibility. That seems like something I could really get on board with.