Sunday, January 04, 2009

Free Therapy

MckMama created a weekly event dubbed "Not Me! Monday" that I've never participated in. However, after this last week I actually have plenty of fodder to join in the "Not Me" phenomenon. Basically, it's the chance to admit your imperfections while denying them all at the same time.

McMama says it best,
"...because it's just plain fun to pretend that we really did not do the things that we actually so did do. And, two, because reading through great tales of other people's Not Me! Mondays each week is a great way to level the playing field. We're all human, we all take embarrassing shortcuts, and so we may as well show each other that we're all in good company!"

Fannnntastic. So, here goes...

After finally finding our portable iPod speakers and installing them in my bathroom, I did not promptly put "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" by Beyonce on repeat while getting ready for my day. I also did not feel the need to "put your hands up!" and dance while in the shower. No, that would be extremely dangerous and ridiculous for a woman of thirty-one years. And I certainly did not nearly fall whilst dancing to said song. Twice.

Last Wednesday, while driving down the mountain to gather supplies for our New Year's Eve dinner, I did not put "Circus" by Britney Spears on repeat. In no way did I sing loudly and wholeheartedly along that "I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl, dont like the backseat, gotta be first..." Nope, not shy retiring little ol' me. I also did not seat dance while driving. Again, very unsafe.

On New Year's Day, I did not suddenly decide that it was time to take care of some facial hygiene issues (aka bleaching the 'stache). I have no need to perform this slightly embarassing feminine ritual. And I most certainly did not do it while my husband was still home. Noooooo, we like to keep the romance alive here at the Petrees.

Before New Years, I did not throw on a fleece over my sweatpants and nightgown and don my fake Ugg slippers to take Jason down the mountain to pick up his car from the shop. I would never not fully dress before heading out the door! And I definitely did not spontaneously decide after dropping off Jason that I would head to the mall to pick up Mom's birthday gift so I could get it in the mail. I would never wander into public spaces in essentially my pj's. That would go against all Southern lady codes and I would not break those valuable rules of decorum and appearance.

On Friday, I did jump into one of my 2009 goals by heading to the Signal Mountain Athletic Club. It was not my first time going there after having our membership for over a month. Noooo, I am a well established workout enthusiast there! I also did not have to circle the club looking for the women's locker room. Having been there so many times I knew exactly where it was and certainly did not have to carefully examine each doorway for proper signage. Directly after starting my run on an very familiar treadmill I realized I need to retie my shoe. But being as full of grace as I am, I did not hit my head on the handle as I stood back up. No way, y'all, I am a shining example of posture and dignity.

Whew. I feel better. Want a little free therapy today? Just click on the "Not Me! Monday" button above...


  1. Great post! I loved the one about the facial hygiene. I always wait until my husband is working nights to handle those things!

  2. Great Not Me's! I too am a "seat dancer" in the car and my 3 kids are my backup singers and dancers. At 5, 3, and 1 I think they are ready to go on tour :) Have a great 2009.

  3. This was awesome! I'm going to click on the link and go read more. :) What a fun way to start a Monday!!!

  4. Tee hee! I picture you (not) falling during the "Uh uh ohh" part of Single Ladies. Glad you made it out of the shower alive:)

  5. Hilarious! It was this post by you that inspired me to play along in the Not Me madness the following week!


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