Saturday, September 01, 2007

Evening Drive

As I drive north across Texas, through that box shaped part at the top of the state, I watch the moon play peek-a-boo with the clouds. With such vast open spaces all around me and a sunroof above I have the best view possible. The moon's golden pearl is clear one mimute and obscured by a dark blue cotton ball the next. At one moment a grey wisp of a cloud shields its light like the opening scene to a 1940's horror movie. It reminds me of the sky over Manderly in "Rebecca." It is a shield of mystery and danger. And just as it makes my skin start to crawl- peek-a-boo! There is the moon again in all its luminous glory.

I remember watching a sky like this as a kid on family road trips. Allie would be asleep beside me and most likely Mom too in the front seat. Dad seemed to be able to drive for miles without stopping or getting tired. In my childish mind, as a show of support I suppose, I would stay awake. Even so he and I would never talk. I would snuggle up to Sarah the Seal, using her as a pillow as I rested my chin against where the window met the door. I dreamily watched the stars and moon above imagining all sorts of tihngs. Where was my husband to be? What would I do as a grown up? Where would I live? I longed to be a part of that night sky. I wanted to break free of the car, of my family, of fights and financial worries. I wanted to be free and careless among the stars thinking of nothing but beauty. I would stare at the moon for as long as I could, craning my neck to find it when it slipped out of view. I loved those night journeys.

And now here I am, on another night journey. My husband is asleep beside me, that golden moon spilling its light onto his peaceful face. I have the night sky all around me, blanketing me, comforting me. I want nothing more than this. I am blissfully happy to be on this journey.

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