Monday, February 23, 2009

And the winner for Longest Post of the Year?

{Oh my word, this is so ridiculously long and I can't believe y'all would want to read this, but here you running randomness throughout The Best Evening Of The Year.}

8:32 pm
God bless Hugh Jackman. The Oscars wouldn’t be The Oscars without an opening number. Also, could someone please ask Anne Hathaway to be my new best friend? Think of all the glorious skits we could perform together....

8:38 p.m.
Look how close everyone is to the stage! Loving the new set-up. I feel like I should grab a drink, light a ciggie and enjoy the latest nightclub act. Starring the sexiest man alive...Wolverine.
8:41 p.m.
Have I mentioned that montages make me cry? Apparently, I will spend the evening weeping as they will be doing montages of past winners with each category. Tonight’s live blogging brought to you by...Kleenex- official sponsor of Leslie Ruth’s hormones.

8:44 p.m.
Viola Davis is also a weeper. And so, movie unseen, I adore her.
8:45 p.m.
Seriously, y’all! I am not going to make it through the night if each introduction to the nominees are all this moving! What a lovely way to honor each nominee’s work with more than just a clip. I love it.

8:53 p.m.
Tina Fey and Steve Martin. GENIUS. All of a sudden, a traditionally boring category becomes unusually interesting. Screenwriters everywhere pump their arms in triumph. And on a purely superficial note, praise the heavens that Tina Fey’s hair and makeup crew actually did their job tonight. I thought she would have fired them after the shining glare that was her Golden Globes appearance.
8:58 p.m.
Dustin Lance Black’s acceptance speech for Best Original Screenplay was, by far, my favorite.
“But most of all, if Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he'd want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told that they are less than by their churches, by the government or by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value and that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you..”

As the sister of a gay woman, I could not be happier that this was said from a stage in front of millions of people.

9:03 p.m.
Jennifer Anniston is paired with Jack Black? And she has to present the animation category? And she’s standing right in front of Brangelina? Seriously, who has it out for this poor woman...
{Although, Angelina did just give her a lovely smile. That’s nice. I mean, it’s the least she could do after stealing her husband.}

9:08 p.m.
Had I know that songs from “Hello Dolly!” were prominently featured in Wall-E, I totally would have gone to see it. Oh well.

9:16 p.m.
Normally I would adore anything that Sarah Jessica Parker put on her wee frame. However, tonight, I truly believe she ransacked the MGM lot and stole Glinda the Good Witch’s dress. That is a LOT of dress.
9:17 p.m.
Best Art Direction goes to “Benjamin Button”. It truly was a stunning movie, artistically.

9:20 p.m.
I’m digging the jazz quartet happening in the background of so much of tonight. It adds to that nightclub feel that Hugh helped set up.

9:24 pm
I detest speeches whereupon the winner runs down a list of names that mean nothing to the rest of us.

9:25 p.m.
Sigh. It’s Edward...I mean, Robert Pattinson. He’s so dreamy. Swoon.
9:28 p.m.
I’d like to have that three minute “Romance in the Movies” montage on repeat in my head for the rest of the year, please. Whew, be still my galloping heart...

9:32 p.m.
“You look like you work at a Hassidic meth lab.” And with that one line, Joaquin Phoenix is properly chastised for his ridiculous performance on David Letterman. Ben Stiller nailed it. Bravo.
9:44 p.m.
The “Comedy of 2008” bit makes me want to add “Pineapple Express” to our Blockbuster queue. James Franco has some range.

9:52 p.m.
Hugh is talking about musicals. Praying that Zac and Vanessa are involved in this next bit...

9:53 p.m.
Beyonce! Her performance outfit is infinitely better than her red carpet ensemble.
I think. Maybe they’re both just horrific...
I’m so confused!

9:55 p.m.
Cute young couples from this year’s musicals!!! I’m in heaven. AND they’re real life couples too. Lordamercy, it’s perfection.
9:58 p.m.
Baz Luhrman created the number proclaiming THE MUSICAL IS BACK. Of course he did, the man created “Romeo & Juliet” and “Moulin Rouge” for crying out loud.

10:03 p.m.
Why the heck is Phillip Seymour Hoffman wearing a black ski cap at the Oscars? A ski cap. That is totally unacceptable. And rude. And just plain tacky.

10:05 p.m.
Aw, a first shot of John Mayer as Jennifer Anniston’s date. Such a cutie. And his tweets are HILARIOUS.
10:08 p.m.
The moment I think we all knew was coming...Heath Ledger wins posthumously for Best Supporting Actor. Lovely acceptance speeches by his family...
10:16 p.m.
I’m pretty sure no winner has ever balanced the Oscar on their chin before. Charming.
10:22 p.m.
Ho hum. Not as much fodder as at the Grammy’s. Let’s look at some pretty dresses, shall we?
Lordamercy, if I thought SJP was wearing a lot of dress...Someone needs to remind Miley she is SIXTEEN. And a bratty Disney channel actress, not Cinderella.

10:26 p.m.
Oh my word, I am BORED. Can we have another musical number, please?

10:30 p.m.
I don’t care how adorably charming Will Smith is, this whole series of awards is making me long for a performance by Bjork. This is not good, people.

10:33 p.m.
Will finally acknowledges what we are all whining about: He is still there presenting these necessary but not so interesting awards.

10:43 p.m.
Jerry Lewis is being honored tonight. I will forever be grateful that as kids my dad introduced us to the wonder that is “Cinderfella”. I hate it when my favorite childhood memories get old...
10:53 p.m.
Zac Efrom and Alicia Keys take the stage and it is the most interesting thing that has happened in almost an hour. Bless his heart, his hair pomade has decided to stop working right at this moment.

10:56 p.m.
I heard a rumor that the producers were so determined to have M.I.A. (she of the ridiculous maternity outfit) perform the “Slumdog Millionaire” songs that they were willing to have her perform from her bed. I’m thinking that if she could pull off a performance on her due date, surely she could swing a post-partum act as well.

11:00 p.m.
Wise choice, Academy producers. John Legend is so much classier. Annnnnd Zac has fixed the bangs.

11:05 p.m.
This has nothing to do with The Oscars but I just saw the commercial for “Brothers & Sisters” and am weeping once again. And I’ve never watched the show. Good lord, I’m a wuss.

11:08 p.m.
I adore Tom Colicchio. And his new Diet Coke commercial.

11:15 p.m.
Oh, Queen Latifah did a beautiful job. The montage, the lost talent, the empty undoes me every year.
11:18 p.m.
Hallelujah, Reese is here! I’m not a fan of her dress or her makeup but I’m always happy to see her.
Also, I think the director of “Slumdog Millionaire” is just the cutest thing. The whole crowd from that movie is the delightful sort of thing you hope to see at this show.
11:25 p.m.
Best Actress....Just say Kate Winslet, just say Kate Winslet, just say Kate Winslet...
11:27 p.m.
Shirley McClaine’s sweet, heartfelt message to Anne...there are no words. I have a feeling that will be something she will treasure for the rest of her life.

11:32 p.m.
HOORAY!!!!! Darling Kate does it again!
11:35 p.m.
That is one of the most joyous, lovely, poignant speeches I’ve ever heard. And that moment when her Dad whistled so Kate knew where he and her Mum were? Priceless.
11:39 p.m.
Robert DeNiro’s introduction of Sean Penn was such a great moment. You can tell which presenters have actual relationships with the nominee they introduce. And when they do? You get a moment like that one.

11:42 p.m.
That shot of Robert Pattinson just behind Mickey Rourke’s shoulder seemed to be a bit of foreshadowing. I hope not...

11:47 p.m.
A very passionate acceptance speech from Sean Penn. Political, yes, but obviously from the heart. I’m thrilled the Academy chose to honor his work, particularly in this role.
11:48 p.m.
Hmmmmm, I wonder what will win Best Picture?

11:52 p.m.
Oh my, I have to hand it to the producers- the mixing of the Best Picture nominees with past winners was brilliant. And moving and lovely and everything that could be designed to make me cry. Again.

11:56 p.m.
You’re handing me one giant chunk of previews at the end? Why, thank you! “Julie & Julia” looks like it will do the book justice.

Well, another year, another Oscars ceremony. Highlights: the wonderful tweaks to presenting the acting awards, the video montages, more musical numbers. Lowlight: It needed more Hugh. I feel like Billy Crystal always received more airtime when he hosted, particularly in those odd moments between awards. Why not Hugh? I wonder if they were trying to move things along but it ended up feeling like he wasn’t really needed after the first hour. Sigh. Ladies, can we agree? We could always use a bit more Hugh.

Worthy winners all around, I can’t wait to see what the next year of films may bring...

{Hey y'all, for some ridiculous reason the time, date and comments feature is not being shown for this post. If you want to leave a comment (and PLEASE DO!), go back to the top and click on the title of this post. Then scroll back down and you should be able to leave a comment. Ugh. Sorry.}


  1. Thank you for the marvelous recap. I did manage to catch Ben Stiller, who was hilarious.

    I agree...Kate, adorable. I also thought Penelope Cruz had a nice speech. She is so cute.

    I am disappointed that Anne Hathaway has become a little waif. She needs to eat more. I thought she looked so much prettier when she had some meat on her bones. I did like her dress though.

    Angie and old news.

    Ryan Seacrest's pre-ceremony red carpet interviews were my favorite. He'd ask a question, give the celeb 2 seconds to answer and then pull the mic back to himself. He's such a tool.

  2. Loved it all! I think the new format (including the close proximity of stage and audience) should be kept FOREVER! This year it truly was an honor just to be nominated!!

    um...SJP's dress rocked - hand sewn parisian couture in true SJP style - Penelope's dress was bigger and no one said a word. It rocked! Wouldn't be able to pull it off myself, but its SJP for crying out loud.

    I heart Anne.

    I heart the part of your post re: the Milk acceptance speech. I cried. Loved it. We are ALL God's children. Every single solitary one of us.

    Miss you!

  3. Wonderful job!!!

    I too wanted more Hugh & LOVED the musical number though I have heard lots of "critics" slamming it... they just need more music in their lives!

    And yes - poor Jennifer Aniston - couldnt they have Bragelina off doing something so she didnt have to stand 5 ft from them... ugh!

  4. Anonymous4:09 PM

    Love the recap! DUDE - you need to watch "Brothers & Sisters" - it is truly one of the best shows on TV.

  5. I can't remember how I found your blog, but I LOVED your minute-by-minute recap! I missed the Oscars (I know, I know) but feel appropriately brought up to speed between you and US Magazine.



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